Of Memories, Long Forgotten
by xxTunstall Chickxx
Summary: Leah visits the attic. Old photographs, memories of times long ago. To: Pictures of You by The Last Goodbye. --Read and Review! xxTunstall Chickxx


**Leah revisits old memories.**

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**-Of Memories, Long Forgotten-**

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I took the dusty steps to the attic, slowly, carefully, the creaking leaving me foreboding. I hadn't been in the atic for a long time. Try years.

I could already smell the dust, the smell of...old. Of things untouched for a long, long time.

There they were, lined up, covered in dust but their beauty, and the pain they brought, untarnished.

Old photographs of long ago.

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_This is the clock upon the wall  
This is the story of us all  
This is the first sound of a newborn child,  
Before he starts to crawl  
This is the war that's never won  
This is a soldier and his gun  
This is the mother waiting by the phone,  
Praying for her son..._

_-  
_

Dad.

There was a photo of him, holding me, encasing me in his arms.

We were by the ocean, holding fishing rods. Smiling like the crazy fools we were, a sparkle in our eyes. A sparkle mine no longer held, and neither did his.

I felt my heart constrict, pain blooming from within, a pain I had shut away a long time ago. A pain I had convinced most that I didn't hold.

He had taken me fishing, he had helped me catch fish. I never really liked it, but I loved spending time with him and did anything for it. Even catching fish.

His old, wise eyes stared at the camera, holding an unattainable wisdom. He had the old Quileute bracelets on his arms, the bracelets of old friendships, of old times as the werewolf he had been.

He had his big green fishing hat atop his head, flap curled back, and his rolled up pants were wet. He held a big fish from it's line, hook embedded within it. He held a proud smiled upon his face, and he held me with the other hand.

When he was alive, we used to spend a lot f time together. Until... Sam happened. And then I abbandoned him for the supposed love of my life. And then Sam... broke my heart, and I shut him out still, this time not for love but for heartbreak.

And then he died. I never said goodbye.

And then I broke down, spilling tears I didn't know I had.

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_ (Chorus)  
Pictures of you, pictures of me  
Hung upon your wall for the world to see  
Pictures of you, pictures of me_

_Remind us all of what we used to be  
There is a drug that cures it all  
Blocked by the governmental wall  
We are the scientists inside the lab,  
Just waiting for the call  
This earthquake weather has got me shaking inside  
I'm high up and dry_

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_

Seth.

The little boy looked up at the camera, grinning wryly. The little boy whom I cared so much for.

We had a gap for our age difference, but it didn't matter. I had watched him when he was a baby, proud for my job as his sitter. I had changed his diapers.

And then, at ten, he watched as I left him for the love of Sam. He was happy for me, he missed me, but was happy I was happy. And then when he was twelve, I shut him out for heartbreak.

And now, now he was tall and wise, and a good kid.

So caught up with Sam, I missed as my only brother grew up.

The small boy's plump cheeks were upturned and squished and rosy red. His brilliant brown eyes, full of livelihood, of boyhood, were framed by mischief.

He had a toy gun in his hands and a feather in his hair. How mother had laughed at that one. He had pretended to shoot me, and I had chased him.

He no longer played with guns, he no longer played Indian. He no longer pretended to shoot me, we no longer laughed together as we had fun.

We no longer had fun.

He grew up and I had missed it.

And then I cried, cried for the part of Seth's life I had missed, too caught up in my own. I cried for my brother, who would never see me in the same light. Whom had forgotten whom I used to be.

I cried tears I never knew I had.

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_  
Pictures of you, pictures of me  
Hung upon your wall for the world to see  
Pictures of you, pictures of me  
Remind us all of what we used to be_

_Confess to me, every secret moment  
Every stolen promise you believed  
Confess to me, all that lies between us  
All that lies between you and me_

_-  
_

Family.

Mother wore a dress. A dress. An orange and red sun dress, we were on the beach, she wore a sun hat and sunglasses. She held a baby Seth in the picture, my hand in hers. Dad was with us, a hand on mother's shoulder, hair rumpled, he was laughing.

We were all smiling, how long had it been since I had smiled?

Since I had let go of it all and laughed?

We had been carefree and happy, what had happened? Sam. No, I guess that's not entirely fair. Me. I had done this. I had wiped the smiles off the faces. When my heart swelled, I cut them all out, because I no longer needed them. I had someone to hold me. And when my heart broke, I pushed them away because helping them meant I wanted to feel better.

But I hadn't wanted to.

I stared at them all, of the family I had forgotten as I immersed myself in my own little world of sorrow and grief. In my self-centered world where nothing else mattered.

They were laughing and smiling, what I'd give to have them smile again.

I started to shake, I choking on sobs.

For the complete family that I no longer had.

I broke down, crying tears that had been locked away for so many years, tears I didn't know I had had.

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_We are the boxers in the ring  
We are the bells that never sing  
There is a title we can't win no matter  
How hard we might swing_

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_

I wanted to be left broken and alone for the rest of my life, because I would never stop loving Sam. I couldn't. He had been my oxygen, my everything.

I couldn't just forget him, could I?

I looked at his picture, where he kissed me and I laughed.

And I realized, that this one man had changed my life. And I hated him now, but he could not be the one to blame for my forgetting my family. I looked at the picture, I looked so happy.

How odd, I didn't know my face could be so alive in pleasure.

I looked at the picture, but I felt empty.

Maybe because I did not regret leaving him behind. Not anymore.

I didn't cry.

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_Pictures of you, pictures of me  
Hung upon your wall for the world to see  
Pictures of you, pictures of me  
Remind us all of what we used to be_

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_

I stared at them all, taking them in one by one.

Lined perfectly on the wallpapered wall. Of yellowing daisies and forget-me-nots. Appropriate? Maybe.

I saw the family I could never have again. The complete circle that was now broken beyond repair.

And I felt Seth's arms wrap around me, I didn't look at him, I just knew he was there.

For the family I could never have again.

For the love they could never impart fully again.

I cried.

Because I no longer that girl.

I stared at the photographs, but couldn't recognize myself in that face.

I stared at them, as I sobbed into my brother's arms.

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_Pictures of you, pictures of me  
Hung upon your wall for the world to see  
Pictures of you, pictures of me_  
_ Remind us all of what we could have been_

_-_

Photographs, of times long ago.

Of memories, long forgotten.

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**So, I was thinking on doing a little series of Leah's memories. Flashbacks. From a memory chest. Who would actually read it?**

**Hope you enjoyed this little one-shot. I read a one-shot, Bella/Edward, by What-a-sick-masochist-lion called Pictures Of You. It's cute, but I got this idea from it, and here it is...**

**Review!!**

**-**

**Keep Reading,**

**xxTunstall Chickxx**

**3/11/08**


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